Quarterly update - Where we are with adoption

Hi all, I just looked at when our blogs are posted and it seems like we have been keeping on a quarterly schedule. I guess it's time to say what we have -- or more accurately -- haven't been up to.

Since the update Jenna posted in October, nothing has really changed. It boils down to paying off debt, which we have a lot of. Paying down a combined $100,000 in student loans and $60,000 in credit cards takes time. I am proud to say we have significantly cut down our credit card debt in the last 18 months. We are set to have them paid off in 2022. There is only so much debt that can be repaid in one month.

Jenna continues to put in hard work in her classroom, online, and with selling books. She, like me, hasn't had a day off since Christmas. Working seven days a week every week is grueling, but it's oddly comforting to know you're literally doing all you can do to stay in the black.

Although things haven't gone according to our plan, we still very much are wanting to adopt.

Jenna and I made this decision to adopt in 2018. We still really want to go through with it... probably even more so now than at the time. I could see that the holiday was a rough time for Jenna. If you would have asked her in 2018 about where in the adoption we would be at the end of 2019, she would have said "at the end," not "still at the beginning." That part has been hard for both of us.

The frustrating part was getting wrapped into the process. We had so many people tell us how we would be great parents. We went to trainings with out past adoption agency to immerse ourselves in the adoption world.

What is great about the adoption world is there are so many fantastic advocates for these children in need of a home. These folks are very positive and have a lot of love to give.

One problem for people like us is that we read the stories of adoptions gone well. One thing Jenna commonly read was don't let things like finances stop you from pursuing adoption. If you want to make it happen, make it happen.

If only it was that easy.

I am sure there are many people who would love to do adoption, but don't have a successful story to share either.

The honest truth is infant adoption is out of reach for many interested couples out there, couples like us. I am not trying to discourage those interested in adoptions in
not going through with it. But you have to understand your own situation and think about what if things don't go in your favor.

While your credit score and bank account should have no reflection in your ability to parent, it is the No. 1 determination on whether you are capable of adopting.

That we wish we knew going into it.

Will we have to wait until 2022 to adopt? Perhaps. I'd like to think there is a magical way to speed the process along. But I suppose things will happen when they happen. It's why I continue to get up at 5:45 am to teach after working until midnight.

We continue to appreciate the kind words everyone shares with us. I wish we had better news to share with everyone. Jenna and I haven't given up on it. Her and I still talk quite frequently about how to make this process work. It's just happening on a timeline we have no control over.

Fall Adoption Update

Hello all! We have gone almost 4 months without an update- life has been SO busy! So here we go!

During the summer we made a decision to find a new adoption agency to work with. Our new agency (Angel Adoption) is based out of Chicago and they do adoptions for the whole country. That could mean later on when we are matched that we will have to do some traveling! We liked their approach to adoption and especially because the agency is founded by two women who are adoptive parents! They only accept so many applicants into their program each month and after a Skype session they accepted us for January!

We can choose to move forward whenever we want so we will always have a spot even if we decide not to by January. And there is a pretty good chance that we will not because we have some other plans we would like to see through before beginning once again.

I know this sounds pretty vague- however we do not know when or how the things we are working on are going to exactly pan out. But we have a pretty good idea of where we need to be financially and what we would like to have accomplished before our homestudy! When the time is right, we will share more details on our new plan.

I see things a lot more clearly now that we have been in this planning process for over a year. I no longer feel like we need to rush anything and everything will happen when it is suppose to. I realize some people may think we are not adopting anymore because we haven't had any big news to share-but that is just how this whole adoption process works! There is SO MUCH WAITING and planning and WAITING again.

So we appreciate all the continued support and love from everyone as we continue slowly moving along! I hope the next update we have will bring exciting news!

***
And since I (Jenna) and writing this, I need to compliment Justin on just how hard he has worked in this past year! He started working with VIPKid just around a year ago to bring in additional income and he is AMAZING with the kids that he teaches! It has been so much fun sharing this experience with him and knowing that every morning when we get up and teach we are paving the path to continue on with adopting. Seriously though if we didn't have this second job- I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have even looked into adopting yet! THANK YOU VIPKID!!!

And as most of you already know I am also a consultant with Usborne Books & More to continue to assist with the financial obligations adoption brings. I have discovered an absolute LOVE for these books and the company itself. I have spent a lot of time researching and learning more about all of the opportunities Usborne has to offer. Doing booth events has been so much fun and once again Justin has jumped right in and helped me with my new business venture. He truly enjoys these books as much as I do and interacts so well with people when we have been at different events. He as deemed himself the "Assistant to the Consultant" (The Office anyone?!) and totally deserves that title!

Basically, there is NOBODY I would rather go through life with than you Justin Boggs! THANK YOU for everything you do for our family everyday!

Adoption Update!

It has been WAY too long since we have posted an update to where we stand in the adoption process. Many of you have asked and we have filled you in here and there, but it's time for an official post!

First things first- not a whole ton has changed on where we are in the process and that definitely isn't from a lack of trying. This is a slow moving process but it is moving...at a snails pace.

When we announced (almost a year ago) that we were going to adopt, I was WAY in over my head. I was wrapped up in all of the great things adoption would bring our lives and did not look at it from a realistic point of view. I was so overly optimistic that it blinded me a bit to the financial hardship of adoption that we were about to take on. It created such a huge stress and I began to panic. Here we had announced such wonderful news and every time I would update someone on where we were I'd say "just trying to save money" because $30,000 doesn't turn up overnight. I almost felt (and still sometimes do) guilty because people had offered so many well wishes, prayers, money and bought t-shirts for us and I had nothing new to tell them. I felt like a failure.

Slowly I have realized you can not set up a time line in a situation like this. It only leaves you with disappointment and heart break. Justin and I took a hard look at our money situation in April and came up with a more realistic idea of how to go about saving money, paying off debt, and making home repairs moving forward. It's really hard to tackle all 3, but little by little we will get there. We met with a financial planner at our bank and were reassured that our plan was on the right path and we could likely secure a loan soon. Yay! That was refreshing to hear, but still $30,000 is a lot to turn around and pay back. Our goal now is to see how much we can save in a year so we do not have to apply for such a large loan.

So, this summer I will be working hard on teaching a lot of VIPKid classes, making my Etsy business grow and starting up newest side hustle- being an Usborne Books & More consultant. If you have seen my Facebook posts recently you have probably already read about it and I appreciate everyone taking the time to learn more I love these books and enjoy sharing them with my friends and family. When you choose to have a party you earn hostess rewards that earn you free books! Check out my new page on the blog that gives you all the details! https://bringhomebabyboggs.blogspot.com/p/help-support-baby-boggs-through.html

There isn't any crazy start up costs or investments involved. You just invite you friends and learn about literacy and the awesome books Usborne has to offer! Free books for you and I earn a small percent of the sales your party makes. All earnings will go right into our adoption fund! Everyone involved benefits! I hope you will join me in my newest effort to #bringhomebabyboggs ! I am really excited about this new opportunity to help spread my love for literacy while building up our funds to make our dream of becoming parents a reality.

I don't mean to sound pushy for posting and inviting you to different events on Facebook, I apologize if I have come across that way. When faced with this huge financial obstacle that adoption brings- we are trying to do whatever we possibly can. I literally thought last year that come this time now I would be way closer to being a mom, so I have to keep pushing forward and doing what is best to grow our family!

To wrap up, we are paying down debt and finding any way possible to make a little extra money to help with the many outstanding tasks we have to achieve finically. We hope that this time next year  to have our big costs secured, home study complete, and on to finding a family to match with to bring home our child. This road is long with the biggest ups, downs, twists, and turns. But we are not giving up, we know when the time is right it will all come together!

Thank you for the continued well wishes and thoughts as we continue in this journey. We sincerely appreciate the support and love everyone has shown us!

Adoption Blog: Is the waiting game almost over?

Hello friends! Justin here. It has been nearly three months since Jenna and I have used this space to talk about the adoption process. But I hear so many of you continue to wish us well and say you check in on the blog, so I figured it was time to at least check in.

The plan has not changed much in recent months. As mentioned in previous blogs, our social worker told us to press the pause button last fall in order for us to continue paying down debt. Anyone who has had to put themselves through college knows that is a lot easier said than done, but we're making it happen.

(In case you missed it, late last year I joined Jenna in doing online teaching for a second income!)

The plan is for us to check back in with her in April to go over our finances and see if we can get started with the homestudy process. Thankfully, we've already paid for the homestudy and some of the small upgrades around the home (like an emergency ladder, a crib, etc.) that they will be looking for during the homestudy.

The one setback we've had is that without using credit cards, the money we were hoping to save has been going to handle a number of minor emergencies that we were accustomed to using credit. In the last two months, we've have paid for an emergency vet bill, major plumbing issue and tire replacement. It's been nice to pay for these things out of pocket, but slightly discouraging that money that could be used for savings have gone to these issues.

We're also going to need to pay for the damage this last weekend's windstorm did to our gutters and roof. That estimate is coming later this week!

Meanwhile, Jenna has been focusing much of her time and effort (when she is not teaching) to recruit more people to teach online. She has even created a Facebook page (click here), an Instagram page (click here), and a YouTube channel (click here). While she hasn't referred anyone yet, she is putting in a lot of work to refer teachers to VIPKid.

I feel this has been such a positive for her. In the months after announcing our decision to adopt, I saw how disappointed Jenna became at the process, and that the timeline she had did not match reality. It was difficult as a husband to go through that with her, knowing how much we wanted to go through the adoption process.

The fact that we're spending so much time working and with her trying to recruit new teachers (which comes with a reward from VIPKid) means we're at peace knowing we're literally trying everything we can to make this happen. The question is not if we're going to adopt, but when.

The social worker might say wait another six months (although we're really hoping she doesn't). But if she does, we're really at peace knowing that there isn't more we could be doing, and whenever it is meant to be is when it will happen.

Jenna and I thank all of you for your continued well wishes. We really do appreciate hearing from all of you. Let's hope the next time we check in, we'll be able to deliver some good news to all of you!

Just Keep Swimming!

It's been awhile since we posted an update. While we still sit in the same spot we have been in the adoption process things are moving along in the right direction!

I think the biggest obstacle we have had to overcome so far is this timeline we had imagined for ourselves. We certainly thought we would be further in the process by now--and even though we are not, it's ok! I have learned to have more patience in the past few months and let go of the constant worrying. Not that I don't worry (because let's face it that's me and pretty impossible) but I guess I am learning to manage it better.

We are chugging away at paying down our debt- that is really where we are in terms of the process. We have been advised to keep doing what we are doing and to check back in with the agency in April to go over where we are financially at that point. I will say it has felt AMAZING to not have used a single credit card since July! Consolidating our debt was one of the best decisions we have made and it is going to make such a big difference in 4 years when it should be totally GONE! That will be a life changer for our family.

Justin has impressed me so much in the last two months. He made such a big leap in joining me in teaching with VIPKID. The company has blessed me with an amazing experience both personally and financially. I knew with Justin's former teaching experience at COSI and Science Day in my classroom he would be a great fit for the job. And I certainly was not wrong there because he is off to a rocking start and is a total natural! He has worked so hard at preparing and marketing himself to parents and it is working! 

For us this is HUGE! Justin is providing a fourth income now and that will hopefully allow us to pay even more debt off by April. Our hope is a judge will see how committed we are to taking care of paying off our debt to allow for those unexpected costs of raising a child. We could totally provide for a child right now- no problem. However they want to be 1000% percent certain we are truly ready. So we must jump through the hoop- but it is a great push to take care of all this debt and for that we are so thankful.

I feel like I should do a word count on "debt" for this post! But that's what it's all about for us right now. 

Thanks for keeping up with our adoption process and understanding that it is a slow journey- but one with the happiest rewards at the end! So for now we will just keep swimming!

-Jenna 

You can call me 'Teacher Justin'

I just realized it has been more than two months since I have contributed to this page. And we all thought I was the writer in the family!

As Jenna mentioned in recent blogs, we're at a point in the process where things don't progress too quickly. We were hoping to be preparing for the homestudy and go into the first of the year ready to be activated. That is clearly not going to happen. 

Part of the issue is that we haven't been given many direct answers by our adoption agency. That has been a point of frustration for both Jenna and I as we just want to know how close we are to being able to go through the homestudy process. 

Meanwhile, we have been knocking off smaller, easy home projects (like ripping out carpet) and paying off our massive load of student and credit card debt. 

A new job!

Earlier this week, I was hired as a teacher for VIP Kid. Jenna has been teaching for them (in addition to her full time job at the elementary school) for the last year. She normally works about 15 hours a week (mostly weekends) to pick up extra income.

Since I normally work late nights with my full time job, I am going to teach in the mornings, hopefully also around 15-20 hours a week. 

Who needs sleep!?!?!

Seriously, I am excited to take on this new job, and we definitely feel it will help us reach our goal of financing the adoption even sooner.

In case you don't know what VIP Kid is, we get to teach children in China how to speak English. Using a webcam and a prepared powerpoint, we teach children basic sentence structures, vocabulary and how to blend sounds to become fluent at the English language. 

Although I don't have a teaching license, my experience demonstrating science at COSI in addition to having a bachelor's degree was enough to be qualified. 

Calling off the auction, for now

As some of you saw, we were planning on doing an online auction as a fundraiser for the adoption. For now, we're postponing the auction. One big reason for the delay was we found that a lot of people/groups/companies were interested in contributing only if the auction was held in-person. Plus, this will make distributing auction items easier than trying to get them delivered all across the state. 

We're hoping to reschedule the auction at the start of the year, and do it as an in-person event (sort of a celebration). We'll definitely keep everyone posted!

Shutting down the negativity!

Hello everyone!

A facebook post would have been a bit too long so I decided to hop over here today. Like most days in my free time, I usually find myself searching the internet for successful adoption fundraising ideas. I have discovered, there are a ton! I struggle with choosing one because 1. I am the most introverted person and feeling like I need to be a salesman gives me anxiety and 2. I never want to make anyone feel obligated to participate.

Yesterday at my school's inservice, we had the pleasure of hearing Tim Kight who is an incredible motivational speaker. During his speech, I couldn't help but think of our adoption and how stuck we feel right now and the knot I get in my stomach when someone asks me how are things going- I can't shake a way this feeling of embarrassment when I have to say- oh just trying to pay off our ridiculous pile of debt.

But why? I shouldn't feel that way but I have been allowing it to bring me down in a negative way lately. NO MORE! I will not let the circumstances of my event ruin my outcome by choosing a negative response! My biggest take away from listening to Tim Kight was your response controls your outcome and you have to be better today than you were yesterday. Something so simple, but these big events sometimes overpower me and force me into feeling helpless.

So by trying to live my best life and putting into practice E+R=O (Event + Response = Outcome) I am going to stop WORRYING and do whatever I can to #bringhomebabyboggs! Therefore I am asking you all for some help!

Justin and I would love to host an online auction to help fund our adoption! I wanted to get a feel for how successful this could be- so if yourself, a business, or a connection you may have would be willing to donate an item or service please let us know! I am not really sure how to go about asking for people for help with this kind of thing so any ideas anyone has would be much appreciated! Please contact us, leave a comment, text, email your ideas! We would be SO GRATEFUL to any help and support we could get!

Once we get an idea of what we have to work with, we will announce where you can go to bid and how long the auction will run.

Each day I realize this journey may take longer than we had originally planned but it will just make it even more special when the day finally comes and we get to grow our family! Justin and I are adopting because we want to, not because we have to. This is not a last resort option or something that is a sad realization to accept. WE ARE SO EXCITED TO ADOPT! So many children are waiting for a family and our hearts could not be more ready to make that happen for a precious little boy or girl!

We are doing this all for you Baby Boggs!!!!