But we wanted to update you on where we are with the adoption. On Saturday, Jenna and I were in Columbus to participate in all-day training along with a dozen other couples led by our adoption agency. The education walked us through more of the nuts and bolts of the adoption process compared to the online pieces of training, which were more focused on child development. I admittedly had a bit of anxiety about this day. It is something I struggled to explain to Jenna as to why, but I was relieved that we got the information and I didn't hear any reason why we wouldn't be capable of adopting.
The more I learn about the process, the more assured I am that this will work. I just need to have faith the financial side of this will fall into place as Jenna and I work to pay off our student loans and credit cards.
Setting the scene
Our agency is based in Columbus and uses the Franklin County Probate Court to finalize adoptions. We were surprised to see that many of the couples came from out of state, and only a few were actually from the Columbus area. Jenna and I thought this really speaks well to the agency we're using. The agency also has a 100 percent success rate with placement.
Outside of learning about home studies, how adoptions become legalized and what our fees will be, our agency introduced us to a birth mother who gave birth roughly four years ago. She was an adoptee herself, and also drew upon that experience. She explained why she chose to create an adoption plan rather than parent (she was in college and said she was not emotionally or financially ready to parent). She also talked about the benefits of an open adoption, and the connection she has made with the child and her adopted parents.
I know for most it seems odd to have the birth parents involved in the child's life. This isn't a case of co-parenting by any means, but open adoptions indeed allow for children to understand where they came from and understand their past better. aa
Things we learned
The No. 1 takeaway Jenna and I took from training was once our listing is activated (this is when we tell the agency to send our profile to prospective birth moms), sometimes there are emergency situations where it takes just 72 hours between match and placement. Our agency even requested that if we plan on leaving the Midwest to let them know because many adoptions only take 72 hours from match to when the child goes home with you. This is because many birth mothers don't have an adoption plan in place until they give birth.
This means once we're listed, we need to have everything ready for a child (car seat, nursery, etc.). This does not signify that the process will likely be fast; it could still take over a year for a match to happen, but if you're a match in what is called an "ER" situation, you better be ready.
Another interesting note was how adoptions proceed once the child is born. For the first 72 hours of the child's life, the adopted parents' contact is dictated by the birth mother. The birth mother has every right to not allow us to come to the hospital, or to have limited contact with the child during that time. This is why we won't be allowed to bring anyone with us to the hospital when the child is born.
Next steps
Our clock is now ticking. We have one year to prepare our profile and go through with activation. In that time, we will need to complete the home study process. That means a social worker will visit our home, check to make sure it is safe, and ask us questions (and these questions, from what I hear, can be rather personal). Also part of that process is to have a physical and have a fire safety inspection.
We are still in the process of making minor fixes around the home (thanks to Jenna's side of the family, we were able to do quite a few projects a few weeks ago). Our goal is for sometime in the fall to do our home study.
Following that, we will just need our funding for activation. Our agency provided us with a list of grants we could apply for, which could be helpful. Also, our Go Fund Me page remains active as we will still need roughly $30,000 to complete the adoption process.
Overall, Jenna and I are feeling more and more confident that adoption was the right route for us. We really cannot wait for us to finalize this process!
