Shutting down the negativity!

Hello everyone!

A facebook post would have been a bit too long so I decided to hop over here today. Like most days in my free time, I usually find myself searching the internet for successful adoption fundraising ideas. I have discovered, there are a ton! I struggle with choosing one because 1. I am the most introverted person and feeling like I need to be a salesman gives me anxiety and 2. I never want to make anyone feel obligated to participate.

Yesterday at my school's inservice, we had the pleasure of hearing Tim Kight who is an incredible motivational speaker. During his speech, I couldn't help but think of our adoption and how stuck we feel right now and the knot I get in my stomach when someone asks me how are things going- I can't shake a way this feeling of embarrassment when I have to say- oh just trying to pay off our ridiculous pile of debt.

But why? I shouldn't feel that way but I have been allowing it to bring me down in a negative way lately. NO MORE! I will not let the circumstances of my event ruin my outcome by choosing a negative response! My biggest take away from listening to Tim Kight was your response controls your outcome and you have to be better today than you were yesterday. Something so simple, but these big events sometimes overpower me and force me into feeling helpless.

So by trying to live my best life and putting into practice E+R=O (Event + Response = Outcome) I am going to stop WORRYING and do whatever I can to #bringhomebabyboggs! Therefore I am asking you all for some help!

Justin and I would love to host an online auction to help fund our adoption! I wanted to get a feel for how successful this could be- so if yourself, a business, or a connection you may have would be willing to donate an item or service please let us know! I am not really sure how to go about asking for people for help with this kind of thing so any ideas anyone has would be much appreciated! Please contact us, leave a comment, text, email your ideas! We would be SO GRATEFUL to any help and support we could get!

Once we get an idea of what we have to work with, we will announce where you can go to bid and how long the auction will run.

Each day I realize this journey may take longer than we had originally planned but it will just make it even more special when the day finally comes and we get to grow our family! Justin and I are adopting because we want to, not because we have to. This is not a last resort option or something that is a sad realization to accept. WE ARE SO EXCITED TO ADOPT! So many children are waiting for a family and our hearts could not be more ready to make that happen for a precious little boy or girl!

We are doing this all for you Baby Boggs!!!!

Timeline Update

Hello family and friends!

In tonight's post, I am sharing with you our new timeline and why some adjustments in our original plan had to be made.

We were originally aiming to begin the home study at the end of October/November. But that is now being pushed probably 4-6 months. After speaking to our social worker she advised this because well....we have such a large amount of debt (and I hate to keep bringing up the cost of 2 college degrees as the culprit but it always comes full circle, leading back to it!)

We knew that post home study, a judge would have to approve our financial situation to move forward with the adoption. In my mind I always thought this meant we needed to prove that we had money / a loan to cover the upwards of $30,000 cost. And in all actuality (even though that is still necessary) that is not really it.

I feel like sometimes I get into a tunnel and I am super focused on the end goal, but I miss some steps along the way. And it was a bit (ok A LOT) disheartening to think we have this huge debt that could prevent us from ever having a child.

So here is the thing, a judge has to approve that you are finically capable of raising a child and have money for all of the unforeseeable or "surprise" expenses. And currently (well as of July) if we were to move forward with our original timeline, it just wouldn't happen for us.  Now we have to try to pay off as much debt as possible so that we can prove we are able to support a child.

All we can really hope for is that this debt consolidation and making extra monthly payments shows that we are committed to this adoption and are doing everything we possibly can to make it happen. We now have to refocus from thinking about getting this huge loan, to paying off as much as humanly possible and pray it is enough to continue this process.

Please, please, please DO NOT feel obligated to contribute if you see us continue to fundraise in multiple ways. I have this fear that people will get annoyed with us or see us as desperate. I am so thankful for all the support that has already been given by so many people. It is a little overwhelming at times to think about and it means SO much to us.

During our training we were told "don't stop living your lives during this process". Sometimes that is what you feel like doing. Last week, I felt that way almost every day. When I wasn't teaching, I was trying to research and figure out another way to make this all come together. It is so emotionally draining. At one of the lowest points I told Justin to sell my beloved Wrigley tickets and just cancel our weekend trip, what was the point?

I must say, I am  SO glad we did not. It literally forced us to focus on something else instead of stress and worry 24/7 over this adoption. The timing was perfect and going into this week my mind just felt more clear and at ease. (That is just a general side effect of a Fall Out Boy show!) But in all seriousness it really did help to step away for a few days and regroup.

Two sets of song lyrics from both Panic! and FOB ring true for me so much recently. Thank the lord for music therapy- it literally can be life changing!

"The only thing that's ever stopping me is me." FOB

"Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high, high hopes." PATD

What happens next?

Hello all!

Justin wrote our last entry and updated everyone after we attended our adoption training and education class. Since then, life for me has been pretty consumed by the start of school again, preparing my classroom, and juggling my sanity between working two jobs.

Here is a shout out to anyone who has been an ear to me lately, I have been super stressed and overwhelmed and I appreciate all of you who have listened. Since returning to school a few weeks ago, so many of my coworkers have reached out to me or asked me about the adoption- and something that small has meant so much to me! Thank you all for the emotional support and prayers!

Today I wanted to post a bit more in depth about all the information we were given at our training. This binder is packed full with 15 different sections detailing the adoption process from beginning to end. Our agency did a fantastic job of laying everything out and including a comprehensive wealth of adoption information.

A lot of questions I have received lately pertain to just the general wondering of how the adoption process works and what happens next for us. We are learning along the way too and sometimes on the spot I feel like I have given a general answer as my mind is preoccupied with so many thoughts at once! So here is a closer look at all of your curiosities. I love educating others along our journey!

When we are ready to begin our home study (evaluation of our home and interview) we will access our online portal to process paperwork. This makes it easy to see what we have submitted and we get an automated alert when each document is approved by our social worker.

The home study is an extremely detailed process that requires proof of so many things that I literally get anxiety just looking at the outline of what we need to have.

Here it is in a nutshell:

-Interviews both individually and one on one (more info about this to follow)
-Motives of Applicants (reasons for wanting to adopt, attitude concerning adoption and reaction to sharing this in the interview)
-Background of each applicant including: personality, health, parents and siblings, childhood and adolescent experiences, adult relationships, education, activities and interests, employment.
-Courtship and Marriage (yep, let's discuss our dating before being married!)
-Family's social network (friendships, social activities, religion)
-Readiness for Adoption: -Resolution of infertility, of validity of decision not to have a biological child and parenting an adopted child.
-Description of Home (more on this to follow)
-Evaluation: Emotional maturity and stability/mental health (I know what you are thinking, if only this was a requirement for every parent...) Capacity to give and receive affection and the ability to provide for a child. This includes your finances, education, parenting skills, social support for a child and physical environment. -Stability of our marriage.

And now it is time for....PAPERWORK!

-Application (haha one we can check off!)
-Income tax return
-Financial Statement (listing your budget, bills, and total debt)
-Credit Report
-Letters from employers
-References (shout out to those who so graciously said they would be ours!)
-Criminal record check (BCI/FBI)
-Local criminal check
-Abstract of traffic record from the BMV
-Medical release
-Medical statement (basically a physical that says you are not in danger of a serious health condition)
-Health insurance information
-Letter from insurance company
-Infant CPR certification
-Profile (the one we will make for prospective families when we are ready to activate)
-Program acceptance and acknowledgement
-Certification of residency
-Emergency contact numbers
-Fire inspection (if anyone has a long ladder we can borrow, let us know! We have to prove we can get out of the house in case of a fire!)
-Pet vaccination and records
-Proof of Auto Insurance

So those are the big ones. After the home study there will of course be more but for now, this is what we are focused on getting together!

The interview portion and general overview for what is being looked for in a family is available to the public on the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services website. This is helpful to know exactly what to prepare for during the home study. Also included on the website is the safety audit checklist to be filled out by the fire department.

Check them out for more info!
Assessment for Child Placement
Safety Audit

Well, that was a lot of info! Stay tuned for future posts in which we will discuss the child characteristics checklist for adoption, setting up a profile, and the APQ (adoption planning questionnaire), fees, our match agreement, hospital protocol, placement, post placement, grants, and finalization.

One last thank you to all who continue to support us through donations, buying t-shirts, and listening/asking questions! We are forever grateful!

We will be announcing an exciting fundraising opportunity in the next week, so be on the lookout!

-Jenna