Timeline Update

Hello family and friends!

In tonight's post, I am sharing with you our new timeline and why some adjustments in our original plan had to be made.

We were originally aiming to begin the home study at the end of October/November. But that is now being pushed probably 4-6 months. After speaking to our social worker she advised this because well....we have such a large amount of debt (and I hate to keep bringing up the cost of 2 college degrees as the culprit but it always comes full circle, leading back to it!)

We knew that post home study, a judge would have to approve our financial situation to move forward with the adoption. In my mind I always thought this meant we needed to prove that we had money / a loan to cover the upwards of $30,000 cost. And in all actuality (even though that is still necessary) that is not really it.

I feel like sometimes I get into a tunnel and I am super focused on the end goal, but I miss some steps along the way. And it was a bit (ok A LOT) disheartening to think we have this huge debt that could prevent us from ever having a child.

So here is the thing, a judge has to approve that you are finically capable of raising a child and have money for all of the unforeseeable or "surprise" expenses. And currently (well as of July) if we were to move forward with our original timeline, it just wouldn't happen for us.  Now we have to try to pay off as much debt as possible so that we can prove we are able to support a child.

All we can really hope for is that this debt consolidation and making extra monthly payments shows that we are committed to this adoption and are doing everything we possibly can to make it happen. We now have to refocus from thinking about getting this huge loan, to paying off as much as humanly possible and pray it is enough to continue this process.

Please, please, please DO NOT feel obligated to contribute if you see us continue to fundraise in multiple ways. I have this fear that people will get annoyed with us or see us as desperate. I am so thankful for all the support that has already been given by so many people. It is a little overwhelming at times to think about and it means SO much to us.

During our training we were told "don't stop living your lives during this process". Sometimes that is what you feel like doing. Last week, I felt that way almost every day. When I wasn't teaching, I was trying to research and figure out another way to make this all come together. It is so emotionally draining. At one of the lowest points I told Justin to sell my beloved Wrigley tickets and just cancel our weekend trip, what was the point?

I must say, I am  SO glad we did not. It literally forced us to focus on something else instead of stress and worry 24/7 over this adoption. The timing was perfect and going into this week my mind just felt more clear and at ease. (That is just a general side effect of a Fall Out Boy show!) But in all seriousness it really did help to step away for a few days and regroup.

Two sets of song lyrics from both Panic! and FOB ring true for me so much recently. Thank the lord for music therapy- it literally can be life changing!

"The only thing that's ever stopping me is me." FOB

"Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high, high hopes." PATD